The last 30 days seem like such a blur.
Of all the negative things that have happened, the good thing was the birth of my
gorgeous Grandson Sam. He's just perfect and yummy. I will be taking
Izzy out today for some fun and distraction - we have to let her know that she is special too after all!
My boys. Need I say anything more?
I miss my mom so much it's tearing my soul apart. I don't think I have dealt with her loss yet. I don't want to accept the fact that she is gone. It was too fast. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. She was supposed to go to the hospital, get better from the pneumonia, and come back home and fight. That was THE plan. That was HER plan. I tried to phone her after the baby was born. She wasn't there. In so much joy, how can there be so much pain? SO MUCH PAIN. And anger. It's not fair.
In the midst of my mother's illness, I found out that my husband of 17 years has been fucking my brother's wife for 12 of it. She's a skank. Why is it when men cheat, they downgrade? I mean really? You chose an IGNORANT, meth whore who has fucked most of the men in our family including my father and my first husband? FUCK!
My fault I guess. I knew there was someone. I left once. I started a new life, fell in love with an amazing man - then left it all to come back here. I listened, I believed, I fell for it I guess.
I am not falling for it again. I'm done.
When someone shows you who they are - believe them - the FIRST time. - M.A.
Of course he has now started therapy with a pastor at a church. He doesn't want a divorce. He wants to keep his family and me he says. He realizes what he really wants he says. I say, you had it all - and you threw it away like garbage for a whore. He says it was just sex. He says he didn't love her. He's only ever loved me. I say - I don't give a fuck. Go have that cunt cook your dinners, clean your house and raise your children. OH WAIT - there is a 10 year old girl in this mess. DNA test much?
Yeah. Done. I AM DONE!
I don't think I am ever going to recover from any of this. Nothing will ever be ok again.